Birth-day

May 14, 2011 was when I finally met the little man that made me forego my figure forever.....It's July 27th and I am just now able to sit down and write about that day.  Yes, it took me 2 months to get my brain working well enough to write anything of substance.  And the jury may still be out on whether this actually is anything of substance.  New mommy brain is wild; you are so tired that rational, complete thoughts are hard to come by.  Our minds are constantly being interrupted with little cries of need that take us frantically down the baby checklist - Diaper (check), Hunger (check), Cuddle(check), Sleepy (check) and repeat.  My mother-in-law told me early on that once those things were accomplished, that was all I could do and the rest was up to him.

Ok back to May 14th.....He was here and I was his mother, now what?? I wonder if every new mom looks at the nurse with crazy eyes as they tell you where the 'call' button is on your bed then LEAVE you with your new baby.  How could she just leave me sitting there with a fragile newborn? Didn't she know I hadn't done this before?  How was she so sure I would do the right things?  She clearly had lost her mind leaving me with him!! It was the first quiet moment I had had with him since he arrived, 'Lord thank you for giving him to me' I thought.  My son started to cry, he needed me and you know what.....I some how just knew what to do.  Sure I had questions and doubts, but ultimately I KNEW what to do.  The nurse was privy to this information and that is why she left me so willingly.  She knew that we mommies (even brand new ones) are amazing creations and know what to do.  Even if you have never held a baby before I promise you, you will know how to hold yours.  God, no wonder You sat back after creating us and said "It is good".  The days to follow were a blur and full of moments where I second guessed whether I truly knew what to do.  I had a mini battle with colic ahead of me that would leave me shell-shocked but even then, I knew what to do and I did it literally with my eyes closed!! That is another post all together.

I now understand why mothers love to celebrate their children's birthdays.....it was hard work and worth a celebration each and every year!! It is a place in which parents place stones of remembrance like the Israelites did in the book of Joshua after the Lord allowed them to cross the Jordan River without their feet ever getting wet.  I have put a BOULDER of remembrance at the end of the first two months with my son shouting, 'Thus far the Lord has helped us'.  One thing I am sure of is that I will be celebrating my son's birthday in a passionate way each and every year.